Working Around Stupid People

"PS9" (PS9) 07/13/2014 at 23:40 • Filed to: None

8

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Customer: "How much is this?"
* Lifts up item to reveal 2x2 inch price tag with a big bold $5 plastered to it."

You: ...$5....

Customer: BUT THIS IS THE CLEARENCE ISLE, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW??? *customer is standing beneath giant 'CLEARENCE 40% OFF' SIGN*

You: ...well...it's 40% off...
Customer: ()
You: So...that would be 40˘ off every dollar...
Customer: ()
You: ...so...40˘ x 5 = $2.00...
Customer: () Well, HOW MUCH IS IT?!?! * customer cannot do elementary school level math, but somehow has acquired money to buy things...*
You:...$3.
Customer: UUGGGGHHH was that so friggin hard? * whips out iPhone to text someone, which could have EASILY been used to figure out how much the clearance item costs...*

...

Customer: * retreives book from isle with '80% off ALL BOOKS' sign placed in front of the books* Is this 80% off?

...

Customer: Do you have anymore of this item?
You: No, we're out.
Customer: But do you have any in the back?
You: No. We stock everything we get to the floor.
Customer: But I mean, like in the area where you store things that don't fit? Is it there?
You: This is the area we put things that don't fit.
Customer: You must not be understanding me; I mean, there's a place back there where the boxes you don't open go...
You: No, there isn't. And I'm not misunderstanding you. We don't keep backstock here. We don't recieve enough things for that.
Customer: Well, I manage [Insert COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AND TOTALLY UNRELATED COMPANY HERE] and I know how these stores work.
You: You aren't at that store right now.
* customer would later badger the store manage to SHOW HIM the bloody backroom where all the things he wanted weren't hiding*

...

Customer: Can you ring me up here? * neither you nor the customer are anywhere near a cash register...*

...

Why people gotta be dumb...

Nibby > PS9 07/13/2014 at 23:41

3

1+1=11

andthelike > PS9 07/13/2014 at 23:42

4

ever heard of google ultron?

links for those who haven't:

part one

part two

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > PS9 07/13/2014 at 23:44

0

Because you're dealing with the ignorant general public of what ever country you live in. It's sad and ultimately ridiculous but it still happens.

Vimto > PS9 07/13/2014 at 23:44

1

As a Publix cashier who must be nice to even the biggest idiots, I feel your pain.

80CobraKid > PS9 07/13/2014 at 23:48

0

Sounds like you work at a Barnes & Noble. But I know them feels. Busy days in an affluent part of town in a hardware store produces many a fucking stupid question.

scoob > Nibby 07/13/2014 at 23:51

0

Also, if an item is 50% off, it means it isn't fully working.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > andthelike 07/13/2014 at 23:51

1

cabarne4 > PS9 07/13/2014 at 23:52

2

I worked at O'Reilly Auto Parts for a while. I know your pain.

*Customer calls*

Customer: I drive a '98 Ford Mustang.

Me: Ok...

Customer: .......

Me: Do you need something for it?

Customer: Oh, yeah. My check engine light is on. Do you know what it is?

Me: Not off-hand, but if you bring it in we can check it for you for free.

Customer: You mean you can do that for me? What do you guys normally charge?

Me: Nothing. We do it for free.

Customer: But, like, for everyone who comes in?

Me: Yes.

Customer: Ok man sounds good! I'll be there in like 10 minutes!

*'98 Mustang literally NEVER shows up*

That's just one of the many dumb-fuckeries that happens on a daily basis.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > PS9 07/13/2014 at 23:52

1

I feel your pain. I rotted away 7 years of my life working customer service, tech support (quickly into management roles thank god) then lastly sales (we were Verizon by then). My god the horrifically asinine things people would say.

"I've only had my phone for a week"

"Well it looks like it's been through a blender"

"Yeah but I've only had it for a week and have a warranty"

*blank stare*

Thankfully my new job requires 0 public interaction; in fact public interaction is actually discouraged :D

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > cabarne4 07/14/2014 at 00:04

1

Should have told him/her to get out of the car, pop the hood and check that the engine is still there. Boom. Done.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > PS9 07/14/2014 at 00:23

0

"Do you guys accept cash?"

Sadly this is a real question that I hear at least once a week.

cabarne4 > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 07/14/2014 at 00:34

2

Hahahaha my boss would've totally accepted that.

There's always the "are you sure this part will work?" when they are literally standing in front of you and gave you the info for their car, and you typed it in in front of them...

Or one good one was when someone ordered a part for an '04 Sentra, came in a week later all mad because it was wrong, and then realized their car was actually a '94 Sentra. "Oh, well don't they use the same engine? That's stupid that it's a different part!"

My personal favorite though:

*Customer walks in*

Customer: Yeah, I'd like to return this air filter.

*Ring it up, return it*

Me: Here you go, sir, that's $10.32 (note: I don't remember the exact amount, but let's just use this).

Customer: That's not right. I bought this for $10.87!

Me: Huh? Weird. Can I see the receipt again?

*Customer hands me receipt*

Me: Ah, here we go. You bought it in Phoenix. This store is in Scottsdale. The tax rate is a little different. The item is $9.99, but because Phoenix has a little higher sales tax, it rang up for $10.87 there but only $10.32 here.

Customer (getting angry): But O'Reillys is a chain. You guys are all owned by the same people. How are your prices different between stores?

Me: Sir, the price isn't different. The item is only $9.99. It's the city sales tax that's different. Phoenix's sale's tax is a little higher, so it costs a couple cents more to buy it there.

Customer (now very angry): So how the f*** can I get all my money back? You can't return it here?

Me: Sir, I can return it here, but only at $10.32 because of our tax rates. If you want to get the full $10.87 back you're going to have to return it at a store in Phoenix. If you go a mile up to Indian School, and then 3 miles over to 32nd street, there's a store there with a Phoenix address. They can do a refund with the right tax amount there!

Customer: I drive a f***ing Excursion. It'd cost me more in gas to drive over there!

*I look outside. His Excursion has been RUNNING in our parking lot the whole time. He's burnt more gas arguing about it*

Me: I'm sorry sir, but there's not much I can do about the tax rates.

Customer: Well let me talk to your manager!

*My manager, a kid about my own age, was standing right next to me. He introduces himself by saying "Hi, I'm the manager. I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. Was there anything my employee said that was wrong or offended you?"*

Customer: He won't return my air filter for what I bought it for. You guys are a corporation, you should be selling things for the same price. Why can't I get a full return?

Manager: Sir, I believe my employee already did a fine job explaining the differences in tax rates between Phoenix and Scottsdale. Unfortunately we can't adjust the tax rate to match Phoenix's, or it would screw up our tax records when tax season comes around. We would owe the city of Scottsdale money, because we would be returning more than we paid for.

*This confuses the customer even more. I don't think he understands how taxes work, or how sales tax is passed along*

Customer: This is G*d D*mn B*llsh*t! How the f*ck can you guys not return the item for the same price? You're the same f*ck*ng company! Yo—

*Manager digs in his pocket, and throws a dollar's worth of change at the guy. Tells him to take it or leave it, or he's calling the police and having the guy removed from the store.*

Svend > PS9 07/14/2014 at 04:21

0

I've had two customers in the last three days asks why we are not open 24hrs on weekends.

Customer: Why aren't you open at midnight on sunday?

Me: English sunday trading law means that large stores can only open 6hrs on a sunday.

Customer: We don't have that in Scotland.

Me: That's why it's English sunday trading law.

Customer: So why aren't you allowed to open?

Me: It's the law. It is a very old law so shops stayed shut and everyone could have the 'lords' day off to spend with family, etc... but it's been changed to allow small shops to open to serve the needs of the public but only under a certain size.

Customer: But we don't have that law in Scotland.

Me: You have some different laws north of the border.

Customer: But I'm not religious.

Me: Me neither.

Customer: So why don't you open?

Me: (in my head I'm screaming, I've just bloody explained you fool. I don't make the ruddy law I just have to abide by them you sodding fool ) Sorry sir, I can give you directions to a place close by that is open.

Customer: Why are they open but your not?

Me: because they are a small newsagent and we are a 170,000sq/ft store.

Sometimes I see them coming as I leave work and reach for my mobile and pretend to make a phone call.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > cabarne4 07/14/2014 at 10:42

2

It really sounds introverted, but I hate people. I could not work retail. I would be unable to put up with people's petty shit. You handled that one very well. Also, the 94 v 04 story is just a sad day for any car guy/girl.

cabarne4 > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 07/14/2014 at 13:54

1

Don't worry, I hate people too. I just put on a fake smile, and laugh about the stupid shit they say later. It's wonderful entertainment.

It's not just model years though.

"I'd like an air filter for my '04 Camry"

"Alright... Is that the 4 cylinder or the 6 cylinder?"

*Blank stare*

Honestly, I don't expect non-car-people to know things about cars... But there's a few things you should know about your car. Which wheels spin. How many cylinders. What's the make, model, and year. Transmission (seriously, I had one girl tell me she drove a manual. She meant an automatic with the tip-tronic bullshit). It's not that hard.